Tuesday, November 25, 2008

extreme loneliness

Thought i will never be affected by such things..

guess i am human after...

tears drop, tears flow, tears dry....

and there it goes.

a brand new day.

i had enough... time to walk on a new phase of life.

Goodbye to current life

Jaejoong pwns 5:47 AM

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

SAD

it is just like no JJ in TVX
no JJ in ShinHwa
no Kangta in H.O.T

Last for one is coming to sg.. although i love their performances..
but the only one tt i know the face with the name along with it is only Zero Nine...
but now, how can i say i am the number one fan when i always got difficulty tagging the name to their faces...

I am fascinated by the dance... only.. *sorry*

it is just like... i can't recognize all Big bang or Suju members...

yes my memory is that bad...

Sometime ago, a guy called my name while i was waiting for my bus. he called "xinyi xinyi"
I looked up, he waved, i waved back.. and I had no idea who is he... I am still trying to recall, but no idea... should be some classmate during primary school?

sometimes having bad brain memory is a good thing eh? haha I do not have to remember everything.

I wonder what Last for One has prepared for us.

파이팅

Jaejoong pwns 5:11 AM

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Ota JU

If u do not know what is otaJU means ... well it just means Ota(ku) + ju... so it's just my other name. haha

Thanks to the new channel on tv.. where almost every hour is interesting i am back to the life of having my weekends spent at home.. either in front of my com watching videos... or msn-ing... loooking through some weird articles and all... or i will just wait for 4.30pm and start to watch tv...

Life is just so simple for otaJU all she needs is a com and internet... haha

guess when was the last time i went to the movie theatres to catch a movie? with my company's family outing "Indiana JOnes" we watched it when Kungfu panda is already showing. well... that was my last movie.. BUT i do watch movies on tv!

I am sorry to all my friends, esp chieling who wants to watch movies often, but i kinda not interested in movies... as in... its costly for me and i rather stay home.. i have been out too often till i just wanna stay at home, cook myporridge and eat it in front of the tv... i am not a couch potato yet as i do not have a couch at home.

seriously my computer is driving me crazy... i mean my younger brother's lappy... he got a desktop so i am using his 2nd hand lappy which is now a 3rd hand...

I can't even load a youtube site properly.

Recently my dong saeng ace is having some trouble with her gastric... i just hope she can eat healthily though the quantity is getting lesser but i think with quality food she can stilll carry out her daily activities.

I think i am going to miss her when she needs to start he JC 2 life.. and i will be kinda... "alone" at SW then... well, i am still learning just that less laughters... and less "high" element in class... but i know this is just another transition period in life. (i got too many transitions till i am not sure if each has settled down to a exact point)

alright stupid com! i am so going to get off!

Jaejoong pwns 9:57 PM

Monday, October 27, 2008

A simple love story 1 - Cranes

"I would like to have set A and an additional coke please." As usual, this particular male customer placed his order without considering other new items in the restaurant.

"Certainly. Without ice as usual?" The rather-new part time waitress acknowledged his order and showed her professionalism in customer service.

"er... ya..." without much eye contact, the customer looked at his PDA phone.

Food was served and he gobbled the food like it was the most sumptuous meal on earth.

**********************************************************************************

2 weeks ago, the girl first joined this restaurant as a part-time waitress and that was when the life of this male customer changed...

He was dull and gloomy. his body posture is always not up straight but hunched back, as if he had tonnes of weight on his back. He never smiled, never felt warmth and never felt happy.
As people around him were all asking him for favour, showing how cold realistic was, how fast things moved till he doesn't see anyone smile with the tinge of warmth.

Until he went to the restaurant for this simple set meal where his simple love that led to his simple life started.

*****************************************************************************

As usual, everytime after each meal he would fold one of the serviettes into a crane and the other would be placed nicely at the side of the plate after it has fulfilled its task as a serviette.

as it was too exquisite to be thrown away as other serviettes always ended up at, the girl would keep it into her bag. Then, the paper crane will end up in a box in her room.

This repeats everyday. The customer came, place order, leave a crane and went off. Everything was just like normal.

Till the 31st day of this routine, the serviettes were laid open with tinges of blue when looked from far.

It was a message for the waitress.

"Dear Leo,

I got your name from your name tag. Thank you for your excellent service. your greetings with such a nice smile does melts the cold hearts and warm the cold tired souls. I left a message for you for the past 30 days. If you have the cranes, you will get the message. The eyes of the cranes are actually made up of numbers. Just have to arrange it slightly and you can see the message. So, ya, hope to hear from you soon.

Kain"

Filled with curiousity, Leo laid out of her cranes in the box. Looking thtough the numbers and arranged them accordingly from 1 - 30 and slowly open each crane out to see the message

" I
like
you
since
the
day
i
met
you
and
you
have
changed
my
life
, may
i
have
a
proper
dinner
with
you
, not
set
meal
my
number
is
9XXX 9XXXX.

This was how they started. A simple love.

Jaejoong pwns 7:50 AM

Friday, October 24, 2008

thank u instructor B

oh my god!

i am super motivated by instructor B after his face turned serious and tell me "YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT BEGINNER. U ARE MORE THAN A BEGINNER"

although i am only 3 months old in dance... (with some absence in some weeks) yet hearing this from the "god" of the dance in this school i feel elated!

nothing can be as joyous as this. well.. i felt i am recognized.

Although i have been consistently receiving positive comments about me during dance classes, but this time was indeed a major push. letting me have an 20% increment in my confidence. (hey! that is a lot alright?)

i really wishes that on my birthday week i could just keep going for dance lessons and i will be happy enough. although Ch is not around T.T but as long as it is dance, it brings me to life.

now i am going to be a typical blogger. "sian ah... i got jap and kor test and exam, yet i am still slacking.. i should be mugging now AT LEAST."

well, i just wanna express what i am going through now to my blog as no one is around me for me to whine.. and! i don't wish to be whiner~~~ lalala.. i am still in high spirits due to those motivating words.

Thank you instructor B!
hahhaha

parkie! not sure if u will drop by! i hope to reach my target of 100 emails with u!
chagia! not sure how u are doing, but i hope u will be happy always
Ace dongsaeng! dun cry! unnie support u all the way! and let's dom dom kah tgt!
chieling! dun sian le la... u so busy by right shud have no time to sian!
ah ting! me hope to have random meet up with u again!
ah ma peipei! sorry ya, i really gotta study for my last minute study haha
cheddar cheese! long time no talk to u on msn ... ur frustrating weekends...
weejia lao ba! my blog is superficial compared to ur GP paper.
Kisa Jing sian! let's tarot sometime again... although i am satisfied with my life now and i got nothing to ask liao

ok dedication stops here...

i shall go study! (try...) haha

i shall blog a simple love story after exam!

Jaejoong pwns 5:14 AM

Sunday, October 19, 2008

1 more month to being 20

i am still going around saying i am 19~~~

how long will this last?

1 more month! haha

I used to have many thoughts for birthdays.. like surprises... or getting really sweet actions from people etc...

but i realise... as time draws nearer... i am getting lazy to think of what i want...

what i really want is to finish watching the LONG DRAMA Rainbow romance.
what i really want is to dance
what i really want is to travel
what i really want is to meet my unnie and oppa in korea and omma too.
what i really want is to eat for free...? hahaha
what i really want is to meet jaejoong kibum kangin heechul... aiya! super junior and tvxq! haha
what i really want is to not get hurt and smile like this for as long as i live...

so... i just wanna be me... shin juju..

Jaejoong pwns 7:24 AM

tarot - my future does not lies in the cards

ah ha! Weejia blogged this, so this blog entry is a response to his blog entry on the tarot divination that Jingsian carry out yesterday night.

Well, when they were high about it might be that school mate that i disliked since day 1 in secondary school...

Actually! i need to say i did not dislike him as in really hate him.. it was just a casual remark like... "piang so tall.. dun like u la." "piang so pretty, irksome" that kind of dislike jst because you are jealous that you does not possess it.

back to the tarot... ya, since then we were sort of known to be disliking eachother... well those were the childish days when we do many silly things and so on... when we recollect those memories, we were laughing about how stupid it was.

Tarot says, i will be the guy's obstacle, as i am the one who refuse to start the relationship...

i believe, no matter who the guy is, be it that schoolmate or some other guys or even celebrities or my ex-eyecandy, i would definitely be reluctant to start any relationship...

hey hey of coz i am not thinking that i will have someone wooing me. but in the sense, IF there is any, i won't want it. It will be a burden to me... as i have too many things in hands that i am still trying to grasp, and i want to fully grasp it and not letting go of any.

and who in the right mind will want to get into relationship when she does not know what is love? haha ahhh...

for me i am happy with my current life.. filled with japanese korean dance work and random meet ups with friends, msn-ing my korean mum korean sis korean bro... i feel i am blessed enough...

Anyway, ace and I often talk about hoping to have a boyfriend like XXX or XXX (hers is OnXX) mine will be like KXX or kiXXX or even kangXX) hahaha i am greedy.. but we always conclude we will be single.. so we have this spinister club.. with the motto: we promise absolute freedom... cool eh?

recently i am mesmerized by kibum (i am kinda late ahhh hahah) by his smile (ok i was and am still obsessed with dong bang so i hardly watch suju stuffs until recently...) then i like kibum;s smile... ^^ now i know why i have a number of friends liking him. he is a sunshine smiler... *shines*

i am contented with my life as long as suju is still there being lively and cute... dong bang still singing and dancing and surprising me with every new album's concept... let me live in such fantasies that there are guys tt are of their standard... i am happy!

time to sleep!

Jaejoong pwns 7:02 AM

Saturday, October 04, 2008

포기해야해요

요즘 기분이 너무 나빠요. 마음이 아주 복접해져 가요.

상랑하는 사람 하고 중요한 친구들 중에서 누굴 더 사랑합니까? 물론 친구들을 더 사랑해지요.

예를 들어 친구들이 무엇을 원하면 어떻게든 해줘요.전 사랑하는 사람을 보내줄수 있어요. 좀 멍청하죠? 난 미쳤어요? 사랑하는 사람을 어떻게 보내줘요? 이건 안돼겠지요?

하지만 제가 사랑하는 사람을 받는 사람을 제 친구에요.친구가 기분이 좋으면 저도 기분이 좋아져요. (진짜로...) 지금은 마음이 많이 아프지만 천천히 잊어줄꺼에요.

오늘 우리 루위인씨의 생일파티예요. 약 1년동안 보질않아서 대화를 많이 나눴어요.. 전 아직 남자친구가 필요한거 같이 않아요.지금처럼만 열심히 살아갈래요..

사랑...사랑이 뭐에요? 포기하는게 나아요. 이 고통을 빨리 끝내요.

Jaejoong pwns 11:02 AM