Sunday, August 31, 2008
money money money
1st September !!! Time flies! It has been 7 months with my company!!! And for not taking any MC for past 2 months, I will get S150 ^^ hehe…
Keep myself fit and healthy, have a happy mood, no doctors no disgusting medications yet rewarded!
Hehe! Being happy is actually very easy. It is just a thin line difference. It is so ridiculously thin till people overlooked it. Ha. Ting taught me to look into the mirror and smile to myself every morning.
Well, I tried, not bad… For me, now every morning I need to say “GOOD MORNING” to my mum and dad, stun them a little, then if they see me in such a fresh look. They will go “GOOD MORNING HONEY~” (my dad will call me honey if he decides to speak in English. Faints)
I got a cute dad (personality wise laaa. But he is handsome type…) My mum is also quite good in cold cold cold jokes… (when she feels ok) and my irksome brother, when he don’t come step on my tail, he is quite a good boy…
HEE.
AHHHh Hui say she going to get 8 books for me with my electronic dictionary… I don’t know how heavy it will be… but then… HAAAA I shall wait for her to go and ship it back…
Money will be gone again… faints…
Haixx but it is ok! It is for my studies! Save money!!!
Faints… and still got T concert, Forever TVXQ and … the textbooks.
Budget… JIA YOU!!!
Jaejoong pwns 10:54 PM
my another cranky idea for bday!
yoyoyoyoyo! haaa i was telling chieling and elaine park about this...
those i said earlier are very tough to fulfill... but this, when i thought of it i think it is interesting and... very very high de!!!
on my eve of bday is jkpop... whoever the instructor is... if he or she can... PLEASE USE TVXQ SONG to choreo... or if can... the whole warm up also use their song.. really is an hour of dong bang session... haaa. ok no need to extreme, but choreo with tvxq de song I will be happy enough!!! there was once the relief instructor used HUG for the first work out song, i weas already warmed without doing anything... AHHHHAAAAA
So... hmmm if only there is someone go hint hint the instructor to use dong bang de songs... ahhhh i will just go high and all for dong bang... and dance well ok!!!
haaa... okok dream on right? like who is going to tell him. so crazy. LOL
Jaejoong pwns 3:52 AM
Saturday, August 30, 2008
My birthday plans - draft
ALRIGHT I was telling chieling what I want will be in my blog. Basically, it Is in the wishlist. BUT THEN those are random ones… But I am serious about the hamper. LOL Just saying… that will stunned me for sure.
For the past 19 birthdays.. no surprises at all! I am like so… hmmm… I have grayish thoughts about “birthdays” just eat out, or work (was slogging my day away at TSS last time when I was still working with them), no cake cutting no surprises… ok maybe I always very bad I expected a lot of stuffs till nothing surprises me anymore.
Alright I know if there are people who are willing, there are still surprises. But I know it IS IMPOSSIBLE. Although I am the one who always say nothing is impossible, but I know this time is impossible.
How do I want my surprises? It is like very simple. People can plan outings, but please do not reveal any irregular facial expressions that let me know I will anticipate something. I can say, I had bad birthday last year. Everything was so expected. EVEN THE CAKE WAS EXPECTED. HA… and facial expressions tells everything off and I had a bad birthday. As chieling pei ting and all were not around to celebrate for me? Ok chieling is the main point la, as most of the time, past years, there wasn’t ting and pei in the birthday topic. As I am always working~
How I wish it is like having a meal outside then suddenly someone appear to join us… JAEJOONG! DREAM ON… but someone la huh… (CHOON HUI ^^ or him…? OK NOT HIM, LATER ALL KILL ME.)
Or maybe like during eve of my birthday, is a Tuesday, I will be dancing at SW @ EP, then maybe the few close friends can like all suddenly come to EP stand outside of the glass window, giving me funny faces teasing me… but it is surprising to see them there laaa…
Or even maybe, somehow I don’t know how (this is why it is impossible) that he sings birthday song for me, (not really happy birthday songs, but a song dedicated for me) somewhere I don’t know where…… at the pub? LOL like I can go, my chie cannot go de places I will not go too ^^ I want to pei her.
Or even maybe booking SW private studio, have a private dance class for ting pei chie alex qj hua etc… those who wanna dance. Then is for ting who wanna try but super shy one… at least is us only… ya… then is like I will have a common memory with all at my favourite hang out place. ^^ private instructor would wish to be Choon hui again~ haaaa… I am not lesbian, just that I feel I am well taken care of. She said she is father and mother in one body. LOL. ^^
I know these are nice surprises for me… ok there might be more kinds… but I hope to be touched… if not I am like forever dunno what “touched” is. I haven’t feel elated or something for my birthdays or any other special days. So I hope at least when I turn 21 next year I could have something very touching… Even if it is as small as a guy (not some random guys ok, guys of standard) giving me teddy bear and chocolates and grab me my favorite milk tea… not any milk tea ok, got specific brands. But I dun wanna say. Haaa. IF CAN home cooked food will even be better to touched me.. ^^
AH I know le! I think it will be interesting if I receive homemade food from friends as birthday. Pot luck? Haaaa like suddenly chieling cook porridge for me, alex fried rice (then is my next day lunch liao), ah ting cooks what she cooked on mother’s day (so impossible), ah ma’s muffins, er…. Something like that. LOL… interesting lehhhh… ^^
Ok la, I just don’t want it to be dull. I can be as interesting as going out of normal birthday template, just stay home and be good. Since it is also my daddy’s birthday! ^^
Jaejoong pwns 11:27 AM
Why i don't want to have chalet for my day
WAHHH * yawns *
Just reached home from my Hui’s 21st advance Birthday celebration at Downtown east…
I must really comment Downtown East’s chalet rooms are always so nice. (nicer than Loyang… Sorry, but this is what I observed and stayed through.)
Hui’s birthday was interesting. Few different categories of friends: Primary school, secondary school, poly, Dong bang fans and ME! I am under the category of OTHERS. HAAA. I am dong bang fan but not fanatic enough to be under that list I think. ^^
Her family members are super friendly; I think it runs in their blood. I spoke to her dad, mum, aunt and grandma. Hui is a very nice girl whom I hope people will just cherish her. She has a very beautiful heart. So irksome people, please leave her alone ok!
This is the 2nd birthday in the same month that has the same form of celebration for their 21st birthday. Both are my love ones. ^^
But I was telling chieling, I am so not going to have a chalet and bbq to celebrate this day. WHY?
1) November is year-end, bound to rain I think.
2) Big celebration involves too many groups; friends may not know my other friends
3) I don’t like to be neglected, so I don’t wish my friends to feel neglected as well.
4) It is like food is just meat and May not be well cooked. Starting fire is a hassle and I don’t wish to be tiring on such a happy gathering occasion.
5) My mum and dad (mostly my dad) he cannot handle big crowds, he see too many people hovering around he gets giddy easily.
6) So it is tiring and not fun for the host and attendees. (but I think hui’s one was a success as she only selectively invite, so the group wasn’t too big. And they are all self-entertainable. So they are all very high! They got a gambling den, a “dance studio”, a elders section and I am tv watcher~)
I shall post what I want for my birthday… but! My 20th is not over yet… why am I bothered bout 21st! when my 20th is like.. another boring day to be spent, trying to input meanings. Yet just another passing day with no surprises.
Jaejoong pwns 10:49 AM
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
my new aura
I love chatting with Ace, Park, Jung, Chie and many more……
I feel I am able to be myself freely in front of them. LOL ^^ It is time to whine again…… As next week is late shift again. (I’ve gotten 2 weeks of late shift in this schedule, which is so not good for my “health” as I can’t go for dance classes and do anything. Well but I have to be fair to other colleagues. They are mothers, while I am still a daughter.)
Why is it shocking to know that I am only turning 20 this year? Yes I broke this big company’s record for being the youngest full timer hired. Well, I think age doesn’t matter, is the mentality and attitude. (This was why the HR who signed me in to join this team is willing to groom me.)
I am so tempted to sign up for the Jazz course that is going to be conducted by the school’s goddess (ok I think she is goddess, kami-sama). But I am tight, I cannot spend any more on extra stuffs if I insist to go Korea to study for a year (this is only a dream, not sure if I am going to realize it.)
Lee-san made my day yesterday. When I say “oh I got dance classes” she say “hip hop?”
Woah! She is the only one who like guessed it right on the spot without thinking. Unlike my colleagues giving me answers like “Ballet? Chinese dance? Jazz?”
When I said, “hip hop” to my colleagues, those who were having lunch choked on their rice. (I am not exaggerating it, it was true. She really keeps coughing and gulping water)
Lee-san says I got the aura that I am learning hip hop. Then I was shocked to hear that. She say I emit the same aura as her other friends who learn hip hop too. Hahaha. Then I say did I have that aura?
She says “the way you walk past, like there are little moves……” oops, was I practicing my steps? (I really can’t remember) hehe
But I am glad I am gradually having the FEEELL~~ of it. I need to shake off the read-novel-write-poems image. (My colleagues thought I was an obedient literature person. Girl stays at home that kind.)
I think my schedule is soooo over tight. I need to manage my time better! (ok I think jemin will kill me seeing this. As she always feel my time management is superb. But it is just about not-procrastinating.) I realize I am not studying for my KLPT XD I better study if not I will die in KLPT. LOL. JLPT still… okok lor… Still have a little time to prepare.
GOSH sat is Hui’s bday celebration and I am so not ready. I need to ask for directions to go to her chalet. If not I am once again lost in Singapore. >< ok I am always lost…… BUT! I will find my way…… er… somehow la.. haa I can call chie ^^
Jaejoong pwns 7:39 PM
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
I found me!
Muahahaha
I am back to my monologue. ^^
After emailing Elaine and Jemin…… I slowly start to see who I am all along…… And I know why I am ALWAYS having the sad looks. I have been restricting myself to be who I am!
Like Ace said, “I prefer the lively bouncy unnie than the quiet one at KTV that day”.
Like omma said, “I wish my girl to continue be happy girl forever”
I am someone who likes to chat, (depends with who though) listen to music, dance, sports (badminton and swimming) though I am not very good at it and joke (though not funny), laugh with my friends, and hang out with them. Whenever, I am stress, it is either I will go for dance, if not I will go to arcade till it close.
HEHE, it may be the past that let me restrict myself to be who I am.
Recalling my primary and secondary school testimonials from teachers, I have words like “bubbly and spritely girl”, “optimistic”……
How could I lose myself after all the incidents? I found myself and I shall be myself. This time, I am not going to care if people going to find me weird or not. This is the true self. I am releasing her to let her lead my life instead. ^^
Oh anyway, all of a sudden, I am not yearning for relationship anymore! So sudden ya?! Hahaha, more like after knowing myself, I know I do not really need to feed on love.
All I need is you, my friends, to drop me a sms or msn me or email me etc.. or even hang out together… hehe erm, depends on my schedule.. :P
I love my family, I love my CHS classmates, I love my Japanese and Korean classes classmates, I love dance classes and instructors esp CH ^^ (I m not les ok!! Haaa)
Jaejoong pwns 9:17 PM
Sorry, i do care but i dao-ed everyone
Mood fluctuates according to the things you see or the events you recall. Why do people become more emotional at night?
After chatting with Winnie, my Japanese class’s classmate, now a friend, I realize I am hold back by my own past. I have not snapped out of it and all.
Yes, I know this very well. Ever since Aaron’s death, I regretted for holding back things that I want to say to him. People say he could hear me, and he knows I have forgiven him. But, it is not the same as he is around and says it directly to him.
Losing a super close friend, I lost faith in myself. He died partly due to my decision of going China with the first batch of CHS students. If I did not leave earlier, we would have time to train another person to be the supervisor, who will be able to replace me when I am not around. Aaron would not have died…… I could not take any more blows.
Since then, wherever I work, I am closing myself up, setting up an ice barrier that all ice breaking activities could not break through. I do not wish to establish any ties or friendship. As I know, if things happen to them, I am unable to take any blows any more.
I am afraid to care anymore. Although I know that I do care for all around me, like June, who sprained her ankle and yet come for dance classes (she is so disobedient), but…… I chose not to say…… not to show…… for now……
Till I have snapped out of the self guilt thoughts……
Jaejoong pwns 7:14 PM